1. Why is a river so rich? Because it has two banks.
2. When is an artist unhappy? When he draws a long face.
3. When does a bus feel hungry? When it's empty inside.
4. Why did the boy take a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
5. When the clock strikes 13, what time is it? Time to get it fixed.
6. What person do you always take your hat off to? The barber.
7. Sidney: Have you ever seen a man-eating fish?
    Ned: Sure.
    Sidney: Where?
    Ned: IN a seafood restaurant.
8. Mother: Why does the ocean roar?
    Son: You would, too, if there were lobsters in your bed.
9. "This is a strange country we live in," muses Jay Lene. "When it comes to electing a President, we get two choices. But when we have to select a Miss America, we get 50!"
10. "A woman was reading a newspaper while her husband slumped on the couch. "It says right here that paying attention to one's mate is a sign of true love." she told him.
    "What?" he replied.
11. Department-store automatic answering machine:
    "If you are calling to order or send money, press 5."
    "If you are calling to register a complaint, press 64-59834822955392."
    "Have a good day."
12. "In my office, I just can't win!" lamented the psychiatrist' secretary. "If I come to work early, I'm anxious. If I'm on time, I'm compulsive. If I'm late, I'm hostile..."