Are you
really in love? How do you know the difference between love and infatuation?
This is often difficult to determine, for there are no set rules surrounding
the definitions of love or love or infatuation. Romantic love is very much
a part of the American way of life and many expect that some day "it" is
going to hit them and they will know they are in love.
What
are some of the differences between love and infatuation? gEnuine love
is more likely to involve a process of "growing" in love rather than "falling"
is often infatuation, and the sheer emotion of "falling" in love often
blinds a person to the imperfections of the loved one,. We tend to think
of the loved sees the total person-both the "perfectiong" and the imperfection.
Infatuation, then, is a sudden, emotional sense that one has discovered
the "perfect" love. On the other hand, love realizes imperfections and
grows with the acceptance of those imperfections.
Love
leads a person to a feeling of security and trust in the loved one. It
usually involves a feeling of mutual benefit arising from the new relationship.
"We are able to solve our problems together" is the feeling of love, rather
than "Please love me because I need you."
Infatuation
often entails feelings of insecurity whenever the "lovers" are separated;
feelings of doubt, fickleness, uncertainty, and fear of loss often accompany
infatuation. "What will I do if I lose him?" and "I wonder is she really
means it when she says the loves me?" express the feelings of infatuation.
In such a setting a lasting love does not have a chance to develop.
Infatuation
tends to be more manipulative than love because a lasting feeling of relationship
probably has not developed, so that the individuals are still concerned
mainly about their own needs and satisfactions. Conversely, in love, the
feeling of relationship is genuine and sincere so that concern for the
other person evolves naturally.
Physical
attraction is an important part of both infatuation and love, but the superficial
attraction is less important in love, for the couple experiencing love
usually will build their relationship on a broader base than mere physical
attraction.
Although
genuine love is an ideal toward which a couple strives, you do not have
to be perfect to love. True love involves a measure of self-ac-ceptance
and self-respect and a degree of self-sufficiency in order that one may
accept, respect, and trust another person, but it does not require unachievable
levels of these qualities.